Aftermath

Inspired by a line from Silvia Plath
I put the pen to paper
Desperate to find myself again on a path
But fearful to behold the scorched earth into which my path will taper 

My family and friends are just accounts on Spotify
Apparently abandoned by their owners
Their content supplied by spirits hoping to magnify
The insanity of aimless wandering loners 

The images of people who were never there
Are etched into my mind
And wrapped around my soul
An echo of love of nothing raises every hair
The lack of a voice that isn’t mine
Consumes me like a black hole 

Don’t even talk about the song
That’s what they say
So I will wait forever for the day
To find that for which I long 

The thousand curls of chocolate
Are just another form
Of a Dutch girl’s waves of caramel
The tail of Haley’s comet
Is today’s new norm
Of tomorrow’s brand of hell 

Will there ever be a passable state of order?
Or will I just die in a ditch south of the border?
I wish I could stay still forever for you
But my life has to move forward too 

If you can find the courage
Not to disparage
But simply to place a call
You will be my wonderwall 

Now I refuse to say the word never
But I won’t be completely free forever
When I was young, I missed the boat of another
And now I am only a cousin to an utterly incredible lover 

So I’ve learned that I’m the last Jedi
Me, myself, and only I
Listening to ghosts on Spotify
Trying to discern the reason why
God hasn’t caused me to die 

Noah, do you even see me in these black waters drowning?
I doubt you have the will or knowledge or love to save
A swimming scorpion from your ark’s irresistible wave
While you lay silently on your bed in your room frowning 

I don’t know how to give up on you
I taught myself to forget how to do that
The last time I lost a soulmate
This has happened to me a time or two
But it’s something I can’t pull out of a hat
So if you do nothing, it will be too late
Not for me, but for you
This will be a new thing for you where you’re at
The alarm with no wake-up date 

I know it well
But I’ve already used the word hell
So I liken to hades
Being ghosted by ladies
For whom I am the solution
To their evolution 

I’ve already lost my virginity
To the prospect of an eternity
With the memory of an unsolvable riddle
Did you ever even notice me
Sitting under your magic apple tree
Or just unwittingly play me like a fiddle
Sounding like a soliloquy
Of a buzzing bee
With a mute playwright in its middle 

From me to you, I’ll always be there
But from you to me
We don’t know who we’ll be
If the day comes when you care 

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