Flugvergnügen, Teil Zwei

So this post will constitute a sequel to a post I wrote back in January. It’s not going to be exactly the same kind of post, however. I’ll try to make it as entertaining for you as I can, but I am actually not writing it for you. I am writing it for a lawyer with the Transportation Security Administration. This is how badly Satan wants to make it difficult and annoying for me to travel. I’d wanted to hold off on writing this post until the entire event was over, but yesterday this lawyer told me she’d have an easier time reading the evidence I wanted to submit if it were on a public website, so we are going to make a blog post out of this! As a result, you may find more video and photo material accompanying this post than actually makes for a good post.

So today is April Fool’s day, but the things I am going to tell you are true. They happened immediately after my layover in Frankfurt where I was harassed by the German Bundespolizei for muttering the word “Gestapo” under my breath upon being harassed about wearing a Facemask after deplaning from an aircraft that required all passengers to demonstrate that they did not have COVID upon entering the plane. The point of that story was the notion that if you act like someone devoted to God, if you look like someone devoted to God, or if you have a reputation of someone who is devoted to God, this world is going to come after you. I thought it quite elegant of God to demonstrate that truth via the experience of a gentile kabbalist wearing tzitzit who muttered “gestapo” in a German airport. Yup, not even a Jew travelling through Germany, but just a guy who looks like one and acts like one. Now I will admit that my connection to Jews, Israel, and Judaism extends far beyond my relationship with kabbalistic lifestyle, but it does stand, this guy getting harassed by Germans while travelling through their country isn’t even actually a Jew – just looking like one will be sufficient, apparently.

To this I would like to add an interesting observation about Jews on the road. Right around that time at the end of January there were a flurry of news articles about unruly Jews on flights. Here is an example. And another. And another. It’s a fairly regular thing, apparently. Here is one from 2019. But there was a flurry of news about unruly Jews at the end of last year. Kind of like Satan put out a memo to all demons possessing flight attendants about a program to harass Jews and make them look bad while travelling. Here is one that isn’t terribly unlike the story I am about to tell you, written about a year ago.

So you’ll remember, after spending hours with the Bundespolizei for muttering “gestapo,” I was able to complete the remainder of my eighteen-hour layover in Frankfurt and then embark upon an 11-hour flight from Frankfurt to Seattle. Yup, I was a wee bit tired on this flight. Sadly, the flight wasn’t staffed by cool and casual Serbians whose political independence and unique media cycles spared that country the brunt of the Bolshevik COVID hysteria. This was Condor Flight 2032 from Frankfurt to Seattle. Condor is a German airline BASED out of Frankfurt, and the entire crew was German.

Immediately upon boarding the plane, I was told to put my mask over my nose. I immediately complied. The person who told me this was a German flight attendant named D. Jantz who looked, sounded, and acted like a combination of Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies and Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Of course, as I put my mask over my nose I did my civic duty to fight totalitarianism, ignorance, and dishonesty by telling the guy in the friendliest way possible with a broad smile and twinkling eyes that masks don’t provide any health or safety benefits. I then just walked to my seat as if no crime had been committed. After all, I was just doing my duty as a civilized person. However, Jantz ended up being a bag of psychological defects that was completely unprepared to handle the information I gave him.

You see, when someone who expresses and advocates for rationality and truth is forced to present the truth to someone who is acting as a source of authority pushing a false narrative, that source of authority will become personally threatened, hateful, and hostile. This is what Jantz did, and this is how I came to be threatened, harassed, and discriminated against by a Condor Airlines Employee.

To be fair, the first three quarters of the flight were relatively uneventful. Jantz did come by and tell me to put my mask over my nose a couple of times. I don’t recall him telling anyone else to put their masks over their noses. However, as the flight drew to a close, Jantz comes by and tells me that he is giving me my last warning, that he has previously told me to put my mask over my nose, and he has found my mask again down under my nose, and he is going to have to escalate the situation. I was completely taken unaware. Again, people were being removed from flights during the COVID hysteria, but usually it was for scenes like these:

After taking a gander at the above, don’t forget to compare the behavior in that YouTube video with the tone of what you see in the pictures and videos I am about to show you below.

But let the story continue. Jantz here sees that my mask has slipped below my nose three times, and he decides he needs to threaten a passenger in order to keep control of the situation or something. One can only guess what sort of psychological disorder drives this guy’s behavior. Maybe Nazism. Upon hearing the threat, I look at the flight route on the monitor in front of me and I see that we are over Alberta, Canada, not terribly far from our destination of Seattle. I’d read articles about unruly passengers being flown back to their point of origin. A return to Frankfurt would indeed have been highly inconvenient for me. However, I just could not imagine that happening. They’d probably just remove me from the plane at the first available opportunity. So they’d have to make an emergency landing in Alberta to get rid of me because my mask slipped from my nose three times during an 11-hour flight.

This also seemed logical. So then, were they going to just fly me to my destination of Seattle and drop me off where I wanted to go? They’¿d probably make everyone on they plane wait until I was escorted off, right? No not only would I be whisked to where I wanted to go, but I would be the first to get off the plane. They’d probably escort me to my bags even. This hardly sounded like punishment. So I was confused. I had absolutely no doubt that Jantz felt like he was losing control of a situation because he was in fact being irrational and hostile, and the only idea that came to his mind about how to get out of the situation was to be more irrational and hostile. Given that returning to Frankfurt or emergency landing in Canada made no sense and escorting me off the plane in Seattle seemed like a blessing rather than a curse, I was very curious and frankly a little frightened by what my Nazi flight attendant could possibly have in store for me if my mask should happen to fall below my nose. Would I be tased? Restrained in a straight jacket?

This is why I asked sheepishly, “what are you going to do to me? Fly me back to Frankfurt?” I really wanted to know. Now to someone like Jantz, a statement like this is probably going to come off like my comment that masks don’t work. I mean, I really did have a legit fear that I would be tazed or restrained, since flying back to Frankfurt seemed ridiculous. Don’t forget the YouTube video above. Pepper Spray, restraints, bully clubs, anything can happen, apparently. But Jantz didn’t like the fact that my confirming what he may have had in store for me basically made him look like an idiot, so he made some Dr. Evil comment about having methods I wasn’t aware of and then disappeared only to return momentarily with a piece of paper for me to sign.

Yup, Herr Jantz brought me a statement from the Captain to me. It mentioned intolerable behavior and attitude without mentioning any specifics at all. I cannot imagine what would make anyone think I was a nuisance to anyone on the flight, unless the other passengers were especially upset by Jantz threatening me, harassing me, and apparently lying to the captain about me. Again, the Captain never saw me or heard me or any such thing. In my mind that makes the Captain unqualified to tell me about my attitude or how the other passengers were reacting to it. It didn’t say anything about which safety regulations were violated. I don’t think any were violated, and I still have no idea what was being referred to with that.

Finally, the only actual instruction I was given by the captain was to not hinder the flight or pose a threat to safety. I of course never did any such thing, and nobody will be able to demonstrate otherwise other than perhaps a bunch of sworn statements from a crew that are circling the wagons to protect themselves. And after I have demonstrated all of the lying, threatening, harassment, and additional unethical behavior from the crew, it should be pretty obvious that any sworn statements from the crew should not be taken seriously. Of course the only person with any actual evidence from the flight of what happened was me, with my pictures and videos that I started recording once I realized I was actually in danger of being victimized by Herr Jantz and any other members of the crew that he was lying to in order to harass and threaten me. I also started writing down notes of everything that happened.

You can see from this short video of myself that I recorded, my mask was down below my nose, and the flight attendant saw me and said nothing. How is a passenger supposed to have a clear idea of what constitutes proper compliance with safety measures when one flight attendant, Jantz, incessantly threatens and harasses a passenger for not having his mask over his nose while another flight attendant doesn’t react at all? Did you see how she looked at me and quickly moved forward without interaction? I take that as fear of being recorded on her part. We all know that liars and criminals really hate being recorded.

My attendant call light was on for three hours. Looks like gross unprofessionalism as well as passenger harassment to me.

Not long after I started recording videos of myself every time a crew member came by, I got thirsty, but the crew wouldn’t interact with me, so I had to turn the call light on. I took regular pictures of that call light and can demonstrate that three hours went by without being served by the crew. In fact, that call light was still on when we landed. No one in my section of the plane got drinks for hours, and passengers next to me actually got up and went to the back to get drinks from the crew in other parts of the plane. I was quite dehydrated, actually. So we have the evidence that Jantz’ harassment of me causing not only me, but several other passengers next to me, to be inconvenienced by the drama Jantz was causing with his pogrom against me.

So I am the only passenger that is required to wear a mask?

I also took pictures of the other passengers who were not wearing masks and were not harassed or threatened by the crew as I was. So standards were inconsistently applied to me and to the other passengers. This sort of lack of professionalism is quite clear in the video below. Some of these videos are rather long. I’m not doing any editing of anything, as these videos may well be evidence in court. My apologies for any detraction from the flow of this blog post that these crude videos may cause.

So above we see that while my mask was over my mouth and nose, and therefore in compliance with whatever standard may be at hand, the gaping holes around the mask make it completely obvious that the thing provided absolutely no deterrence against COVID. Everyone on the flight had to demonstrate via a test that they did not have COVID, and everyone on the plane had to demonstrate that they had been vaccinated against COVID. Overwhelming scientific data shows that only the M95 high quality masks worn at all times with perfect seals and without being removed at all in completely controlled laboratory environments with dedicated test subjects provide a few percentage points in decreased COVID transmission. The fact that the masks that we were wearing don’t do anything about COVID, plus the fact that none of us had COVID in the first place according to our tests and vaccinations, should convince any reasonable person that no one’s safety was jeopardized by any of our actions.

The video also shows me taking my mask off to eat with the full support of the crew. This will become important in a minute. The flight attendant didn’t care at all about my mask being over my ear the whole time I was sipping my juice. Several passengers did this. Nobody had a problem with anything. In fact, below is a video of me eating for nine minutes without my mask on. Notice all of the flight attendants walking around me without saying a word. Obviously they didn’t think I was endangering anyone’s safety.

Now I mentioned above, liars really don’t like being filmed. In the video below, Der Führer Jantz comes by while I am eating, takes my food out of my hand, and proceeds to grill me about the videos I was taking of myself, and then tells me that I am out of compliance for eating without my mask on. He even went so far as to tell me that I was required to put my mask on between sips and bites. Remember the nine-minute video of me eating with my mask off in plain view of multiple flight attendants. So obviously the crew had no clear concept of what the mask standards on their flight actually were, or Jantz is again just lying about the need to put the mask on between bites as a part of his threatening and harassing behavior. The video then concludes with Jantz insisting over and over again that he be able to see my personal videos of myself on my personal phone. Luckily for him, I am the most compliant and non-confrontational passenger he has had the privilege of serving, so I do my best to get the poor, nervous little Nazi a chance to look at the videos I took of myself.

Now I did find my phone, and Jantz did come back with more threats and lies to try to take my phone from me. Have fun watching below.

This video above is priceless. First, it starts off with me wearing my mask over my mouth and nose, then it shows how masks can and do occasionally slip from a person’s nose when they look up, talk, etc, as it did for me, and then shows me putting my mask back up over my nose. A pretty common occurrence that according to Jantz constitutes non-compliance with regulations and passenger endangerment, despite our being permitted to eat for extended periods without our masks on, unless it’s me we are talking about, according to the opinion of Herr Jantz, anyway.

Then Jantz steps up the lying in some kind of effort to thieve my personal property from me so that he and his crew members don’t have to worry about anyone knowing about how they were harassing me. He fabricated some kind of imaginary German law that permits him to abscond my phone and videos despite my telling him that my videos are journalistic work product. Further, I am an American citizen on a flight from Serbia to the USA, never having even entered Germany, only spending time on a layover in the international transit area, currently flying over Canadian airspace. I mean, the guy either thought I was five years old, or he was very, very desperate to make sure nobody was on film, even to the point where he attempted to criminally defraud a passenger of their personal property.

Now shortly before landing, the captain got on the loudspeaker to announce our arrival, as captains always do, but this time he added that everyone would need to remain on the plane until an unruly passenger had been removed. So first, remember, I was told by Jantz about my “last warning,” and then without any further incident, I was given a form saying continued problems would result in action being taken. There were no further difficulties except when Jantz magically changed the mask standards for eating passengers for me alone. What I am trying to tell you here is that we went from “your last warning” to “you are being removed from the plane” without any additional infraction subsequent to the last warning. Jantz seems to have gotten mad that he was not able to swindle my phone from me and gone and made up some more lies to the captain in order to get me thrown off the plane.

This announcement first went out in German, and when it concluded all of tyhe German speakers cheered. You’d have thought you were at a cubs game, and the number six batter hit a four RBI home run to wind the game at the bottom of the ninth. That’s how excited the Germans were to get rid of the goy Kabbalist Jew lookalike. The captain repeated the announcement again in English, but none of the English speakers cheered at the end.

Then came the priceless ending of the flight. My inglorious deplaning. The video below captures it. When the plane stopped, out of respect for the other passengers and a desire to speed the process, I unfastened my seatbelt and walked calmly to the front of the plane, met the TSA employee and Seattle police officer who were to take me off the plane with handshakes and smiles, and off I went. I did walk past the captain, who I had never spoken to previously, who never saw me previously, who started yelling at me and insulting me, saying I violated his instructions. I responded with a silent smile and left the plane with my very friendly and personable TSA and police escort.

5:40 (22 Jan 2022 6:20:49 PM)

So then, thus ended my experience with Condor flight 2032. Now, think back to the YouTube news video about people being taken off planes that I started with. You may recall the people screaming at each other, punching each other, gazing each other, restraining each other, and all sorts of calamity. Now, in looking at the above, did I ever raise my voice? Did I ever not comply with any instruction given to me? Even when Jantz was lying to me in order to steal my phone and videos, even when he told me I had to put my mask on between sips and bites in contradiction with all other crew members and occasions, I don’t see any evidence of anything except perhaps the slightest bit of subdued frustration. I calmly walked myself off the plane, apologizing to the other passengers for Jantz’ Nazism.

Now weeks later, back in Arizona with my family, I get a letter from the TSA saying that I am being charged with a crime. So let me ask you, is there any evidence that I “tampered or interfered with, compromised, modified, [or] attempted to circumvent…a security system, measure, or procedure implemented…”? I had never had the faintest clue that tampering with safety measures was even an issue. Remember, the written warning from the captain who never saw me or spoke to me until I deplaned stated only disorderly conduct. From what I can tell, I wore a mask that met all legal requirements even though it did absolutely nothing to prevent the spread of COVID on a flight where everyone had been verified not to have had COVID. The mask occasionally slipped down below my nose, which often happens, at which times I put it back up over my nose, except while eating. No one has any evidence whatsoever of anything else. There is no evidence that I took any action to tamper or interfere with anything at all. We do have reams of evidence of crew unprofessionalism and passenger harassment, however.


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