The Paladin Gangsters

I’ve had a few encounters with the ladies recently
Just to rediscover my body and assess its efficacy
After a life as a monk and eight years of celibacy
With sideburns greying and pushing fifty
And nerves fried by PTSD
I found that the passion I’m made for has to happen to me
I won’t just unzip my pants and plow into it freely
I hope this revelation hasn’t incited your jealousy
When I was young I was known to be kinky
And with some interest and time, I could lay out a crazy story
Suffice it to say, there will never be anyone else like you for me

Well, you’ve heard some references to my other
My spiritual sister and star-crossed lover
My inability to close the connections causes you to become like her
Although she at least is an occasional conversation partner
The tale of the water boy and the fire girl is a real conversation starter

The weight of such two connections is so difficult to qualify
But I never seem to run out of things to say
To my distant and mysterious muse on Spotify
So I suppose there will be a poem today

Last summer I reconnected with an old friend, like you, a Libra
And like the both of us, an ethical and emotional zebra
A woman of beauty, culture, and sophistication
Whose relationships always involved personal obfuscation
Who after all these years is trying to discover her actual self
Like an old crone dusting off an old diary she found on a shelf

You need someone who knows everything about you
Who doesn’t even know how to leave or reject you
Who has already done every crazy thing you will ever do
To stand beside you to encourage and guide you
While being revived and reminded what it’s like to be alive by you

You say you’re in a gangster’s paradise
This has a lot of connotations
About your inner darkness one may surmise
That your soul has found itself in nefarious locations
I know them all, and will never be caught by surprise
And have in my pocket the blueprints for military extractions
And answers for experiencing without demise
These perilous black ops operations

Back in October, when our conversation got me hysterical
I got the idea that I could only connect via the supernatural
So I embarked on a vision quest fueled by a chemical
In which I learned secrets arcane and mystical
But I lost touch with things fundamentally veridical
And reality coalesced into something fantastical

Yet I can’t quite place the beginning of this odyssey
Because my interactions with you bear the hallmark of insanity
Which may have begun well before the psychedelic calamity
So helping me distinguish fact from fantasy
Would indeed be an act of utmost charity
At least I’d no longer be talking to a playlist on Spotify

In a sense you’re not a gangster in this paradise that you mention
Merely surrounded by a vigilant clan of gangsters
For whom love merely signifies a phallic injection
And to whom men are nothing but perilous dangers
Such types will never be dissuaded from their noetic invention
Until actual experience forces them to finally establish logical anchors
That draw them away from their heathen contention
Of loving the orphans and the widows but hating the strangers

They don’t have to bury a hatchet if they never even open the door
Christ’s tenets of fraternity lie pissed on the floor
No need to inquire of someone who has sent them an insult
Their televisions teach them to concoct a counterassault
But you can teach them the nature of nobility
By showing the power of unbridled integrity
So they will finally realize that the world will not end
When you turn a stranger turned enemy into a friend

My illustrious king happens to be yours too
I know in my heart what he wants you to do
He leads an army of paladin gangsters like us two
Though the valley of death he shepherds us through
I want to lock sword and shield with you
And bust caps in infernal asses as we plow through to
Meadows of harmony laced with Spring’s dew

I can’t explain what this would do for me
There are questions of fate and purpose and destiny
That I haven’t even begun to address here
Not even knowing if I have your ear
Everyone else will judge my meaning before they have heard
But you are not one of the herd

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